The Charisma Myth: How to Engage, Influence and Motivate People

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The Charisma Myth: How to Engage, Influence and Motivate People

The Charisma Myth: How to Engage, Influence and Motivate People

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Her course at Berkeley's Business School was so popular that university staff had to guard the entrance to ensure that only admitted students gained entrance.

I picked up this book after hearing something about it on a podcast (I can’t, for the life of me, remember which one) and the name hooked me. As Cabane explains in the book, charisma can help with both your work and personal life, so it’s perfect for someone who wants to be better at networking, give better presentations, close sales more often, land the next job, make new friends, or even get better at dating. With every leader Cabane describes (for the most part, the tired examples of Bill Clinton and Steve Jobs), she outlines which component they emphasized. It reads much more like a (fun) textbook, with well-documented information that is organized to be easy to understand.As an executive coach to the leadership of Fortune 500 companies, her clients include Google, Deloitte, and Citigroup. Being interested in other people and being sympathetic to their concerns and problems are already among my natural tendencies, and the book taught me that I can actually improve my social skills by just focusing on and tapping into those two tendencies. It presents the multiple styles of chrisma, details each chrisma, and dwells into how one can use it within their own lives.

Prakhar is the founder of Design Epic Life, where he helps people grow into the best versions of themselves with his coaching and awesome writing, such as his book, Soul Scribbles. Remember that right now, in this very moment, many others are going through this very same experience.

Charisma is in the eye of the beholder, and it cannot be controlled entirely by the vigor of one’s handshake, the rhythm of one’s speech, or even the sincerity of one’s attitude. Because trying to suppress a self-critical thought only makes it more central to your thinking, it’s a far better strategy to simply aim to neutralize it. As the author defines the term, charisma is an acquired set of behavior, verbal and non-verbal, that display confidence and power. From this book, I distilled 57 strategies and principles on how to be charismatic, and also I wrote a detailed book summary that you can read here: https://www.

One of the more interesting points Cabane makes is that the people around you tend to try to match nonverbal cues with verbal cues, with nonverbal cues taking precedent over verbal ones if they don't match. Because our brain doesn’t distinguish between imagination and reality, these internal attacks are perceived by our mind just as a real, physical attack would be, and they can generate an automatic physical reaction known as the threat response or fight-or-flight response. Many people are going through similar obstacles and annoyances so you don’t need to feel unfortunate for being in bad situations. Lastly, when your brain loses focus in a conversation, focus on your toe and it will bring your attention to the present moment, which you can then direct towards the other person.

With about 7 billion people on the planet, I can absolutely guarantee you that not just one but scores of people are going through the same thing at this very moment.

Showing vulnerability and humility make you more relatable and helps to avoid the feeling of alienation, which is a real risk when your charisma gives you a touch of the superhuman. The second is to destigmatize discomfort, which means that you should allow yourself to have negative experiences or to feel the negative feelings because it’s a normal part of being a human. Imagine your mental chatter as coming from a radio; see if you can turn down the volume, or even just put the radio to the side and let it chatter away. This book tells us how to be successful, how to make people think you are a leader, how to present yourself on a stage, How to make someone feel positive about you and what it takes to be the best person whom people see’s everyday. The Charisma Myth does not explain the myth of charisma; instead it says that charisma is not innate, but can be taught.

Countering the downsides of charisma, including (i) how to counter envy/resentment, (ii) having people share or reveal too much, and (iii) being held to higher standards and judged more harshly.

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